Examining the Concept of Sonder

by E.S.

At the beginning of this semester, fellow journalist Sabine D. shared an intriguing word with us: sonder. The meaning of sonder is the realization and understanding that all other people have lives as complex as one's own, a reflection of sorts.

As a collective, we wondered how many people actually knew about this word. What might it mean to them? How do they experience it in their daily lives?

We surveyed our classmates, and what we found out really surprised us!

The majority of people surveyed already knew what it meant, which is surprising considering it is a very new addition to the dictionary. However, there were a couple of people who weren't sure or didn’t know of the word. 

One response in particular, offered a thoughtful perspective.

“There are moments in life where you may dissociate and separate from your personal thoughts and expand to a wider range of understanding,” a student who wishes to be anonymous said. “It is in these moments where I feel most aware of the world around me. I can tap into a space of pure experience where I see the many souls on this Earth and view them as they are. No one will ever fully comprehend each and every person and their personal experiences but it is important to stay open and curious. Connection is powerful and important.” 

Students approached the word from different perspectives, bringing their own experience to the word. Student Ellora B.H shared a different take on sonder, through a theater point of view. 

“I can’t think of a specific time, but I do think about it sometimes,” Ellora said. “This makes me think of when you are getting to know a character in a play or something. Like how you have to really understand their given circumstances to fully play them.”

Overall, it was fascinating to see the opinions and insights of what our other classmates thought of the word sonder. It seems to be a universal experience for all of us - those quiet moments of empathy for a person you don’t even know.

If you are interested in finding other words like sonder, we recommend The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows! It’s both a website and a physical book, both with beautifully crafted terms for unique emotions, with an option to also create your own word.

The creator of the book, John Coenig aims to “shine a light on the fundamental strangeness of being a human being—all the aches, demons, vibes, joys, and urges that are humming in the background of everyday life.”

So if you’ve ever struggled to name a feeling, you might just be able to find the perfect word there.